A Guide To Modern Day Dating Slang Terms

Stay Up To Date On Dating Terminologies in 2018

Language is constantly evolving: Doubly so for the language of love.

What with all the new trends, the mishmash of netspeak, and the ultra-connected nature of the fast lane; the question isn’t whether there are dating slangs out there you have no knowledge of, it’s whether you can keep up with the ridiculously high churn rate of dating terms.

This glossary of dating terms isn’t nearly exhaustive. For instance, there are at least half a dozen different types of romantic orientations. We didn’t cover all of them here, but you catch our drift!

We pretty much compiled a list of the most common/basic slangs to turbo-charge your dating vocab and stand a chance in today’s fast-paced dating game.

Dating Moves, Trends, Concepts…

BENCHING

Recall how on a sports team, some players are left on the bench until the coach decides to have them on the pitch? Yeah, that’s benching. And the dating version involves an individual stringing along another person “just enough” for the person to stay on the sidelines (ahem bench) and not move on… Waiting and hoping, while they play out their other options. A close synonym is layby.

Tuning bears similar attributes to benching, but with a different intent. While benching involves keeping someone around as a plan B, tuning involves laying the groundwork before making their big reveal (whether it’s asking you on a date, or you know, a booty call).

BREADCRUMBING

With benching, it’s keeping a person around to have options; with bread crumbing, it’s keeping a person (the breadcrumbee) around because one (the breadcrumber) does not have the guts to break things off completely, say to stave off a confrontation.

It may also be the breadcrumber giving some attention (leaving ‘crumbs’) even though they do not intend to ever follow through.

CATCH AND RELEASE

It is a lot like recreational fishing, where one goes through all the effort to catch a fish only to release it back into the wild. Individuals who practice the dating version of this technique aren’t in for the long haul. They may love the thrill of giving a chase or just want a hookup without getting attached.

CATFISHING

It involves luring someone using a fictional persona. Catfishes avoid offline meets and video chats like a plague.

CURVE

Fancy word for getting rebuffed, shut down, or dismissed. If you make a move, chances are you hit it off or you get curved.

CUSHIONING

A “cushion” is more or less a net hanging low below a current relationship, so should the relationship fail; the cushion softens your fall (breakup). Yep, this cushion is a person, and sure enough, some maintain multiple cushions.

DATERVIEW

It is a portmanteau of “date” and “interview,” to describe when a date feels like a job interview.

DEEPLIKING

It involves engaging in a marathon of liking several dated (say months- or years-old) social media posts or pictures of your interest to show you like them.

EMERGENCY CALL

Things don’t seem to be going well with a date (or a romantic situation) and you want to scram but politely? That’s when receiving an emergency call from a friend about something that demands your presence (think along the lines of ‘your relation is in the hospital’ or ‘your pet just kicked the bucket’) can be the fake out you desperately need.

GHOSTING

It is the term that refers to the act of an individual (the ghost/ghoster) suddenly ceasing all communications with someone else (the ghostee) without a moment’s notice (or explanation). Ghosting is abrupt and the ghostee often wouldn’t know what hit them until much later.

A relatively kinder type of ghosting is caspering. It involves the ghoster letting the ghostee know in a considerate, courteous way that whatever it is they’re in or about getting into isn’t working out. And then the ghost can disappear guilt-free.

HAUNTING

That’s when your past tries to remind you that they exist. Yep, when you notice that has-been whom you thought was history (typically a ghoster or an ex; no reason it can’t be both rolled in one human frame) following you or lurking in your social media feeds, you’re being haunted.

It’s called zombeing when the fellow resumes communication with you after ghosting you in the past. A worse form of zombeing is submarining: Where like a submarine, an old flame pops back after dropping off the face of the planet for a while, and then proceeds to act like all is fine and dandy (with no explanation whatsoever why they went AWOL).

KITTENFISHING

Kittenfishing is the lite version of catfishing. Whereas catfishing involves communication with a persona that’s fictional from the ground up, kittenfishing involves chatting with a person who spruces themselves in ways that cross from slight exaggeration (which most people do to varying degrees) to dishonesty—say uploading really old pics.

KRAY BAE

Replace kray with crazy, and you got the meaning.

LOVEBOMBING

When things start off in a relationship all smooth, dreamy, and you want it to go on forever as you’re showered with affection (and the whole shebang); only for it to stop at some point. Often to be replaced by the exact opposite—a nightmare you want to wake from.

The first part is classic lovebombing: The second part is reality hitting you like a sledgehammer.

MATRIMANIA

This is a blend of the words “matrimony” and “mania,” to describe excessive enthusiasm for weddings and marriage.

MICROCHEATING

Infidelity is a spectrum, and microcheating sits just below overt cheating (sleeping with someone else behind the back of one’s partner). Microcheating includes all of those things an individual does with someone else behind the back of their partner minus sex—ranging from heavy flirting to emotional affairs.

MONKEYING

It is essentially hopping from one relationship to the next without catching a break. A lot like a monkey swinging from one tree branch to another without slowing down.

NETFLIX AND CHILL

It refers to hooking up under the guise of inviting someone over for a stay-at-home movie date.

NONVERSATION

A nonversation is a conversation with a dating-app match that leads nowhere.

OBLIGASWIPING

From ‘obligation to swipe.’ It’s pretty much binge-swiping without any real interest in the dating-app matches one gets (from not wanting to hold a conversation to not wanting to meet offline). It is a very common concept that you may well be guilty of at one point.

ON A THING

A newer, fancier synonym of “seeing someone.”

PEACOCKING

Dressing up or doing a good deed to gain attention or impress someone. Similar to the way peacocks use their tail feathers to visualize their charm.

PIE HUNTING

A pie is an individual with a rough dating history who is typically familiar with heartbreak and rejection. Pie hunting refers to the act of primarily targeting (hunting) pies because they are perceived (by the hunter) to be easier to get and low-maintenance.

R-BOMBED

R-bombed is the word to describe when someone you’re interested in reads your message but doesn’t reply. It’s practically the harsher version of a curve.

ROACHING

An individual dates multiple partners but hide their escapades from a partner. Then when confronted, the individual feigns confusion and tries to explain that there was no implication of a monogamy to start with.

Roaching is a sly tactic that’s a consequence of the contemporary poly-friendly dating culture. The word stems from the adage that states that when you find a cockroach, chances are that there are more around that you don’t see.

SEX INTERVIEW

The age-old norm used to be date before sex. It still is for many. For some however, it’s the other way around—sex before a date—called a sex interview. Which we will admit sounds logical, as you do not want to develop chemistry and real intimacy with someone who later on turns out to be an incompatible lover under the sheets.

SLOW FADE

An individual wants to break things off, but doesn’t want to have “the talk” nor ghost (or casper). One option is to try the slow fade. As the term suggests, it is a gradual tapering off, with replies taking longer to get, plans are canceled, and new excuses are invented to forestall setting up new plans.

A slow fade is basically breadcrumbing with each successive crumb or morsel being smaller and farther apart.

SNACK

An attractive person who you want to gobble up like your, yea you guessed it, favorite snack. An over-the-top gorgeous snack—for instance, the celeb at the top of your celebrity cheat list—may be called a full meal.

STASHING

It refers to the dating technique of hiding one’s partner from friends or family. Like a squirrel’s nut stash, a “stashed” partner is hidden away from public view and barely mentioned on social media.

STEALTHING

It is sneaky and abhorrent. Stealthing is the act of slyly removing a condom during coitus.

THIRST TRAP

Thirst trapping is peacocking on social media with an intentionally sexually provocative picture that acts as a trap and has a singular aim to ensnare thirsty scrollers-by. It generally leads to higher than normal responses (likes, comments…), which can be a potent, but fleeting ego boost for the thirst trapper.

TINDERELLA

It is a play of words on Cinderella by male Tinder users to describe a perfect match.

TINDSTAGRAMMING

For some, the Instagram username displayed on a Tinder profile that was not matched presents a second opportunity to have a go. This time, it’d be through Instagram’s direct messaging. Tindstagramming refers to this practice of porting from Tinder to Instagram to hit someone up.

ZELOPHOBIA

The fear of jealousy.

Relationships

CASUAL RELATIONSHIP

A casual relationship sits somewhere between a friends with benefits arrangement and a serious relationship. It is a romantic relationship with the sex and meets but that hasn’t moved on to the stage of exclusivity, commitment, and spending time with each other’s friends and family.

CUFFING SEASON

A period when individuals pair up for the colder months. Cuffing season is short term and extends from early fall to late winter.

Ditching your “cuff” when the leaves start to turn green again is called uncuffing.

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS/FWB/F*CKBUDDIES

Two friends having sex on the regular without it turning into a fledged romantic relationship.

HALF-NIGHT STAND

It is a one-night stand without the staying overnight part. Parting of ways occurs right after the sex is over.

Have multiple one-night stands with the same person? Well, it’s officially a several-night stand then.

OPEN RELATIONSHIP

It is a relationship that is romantic, committed, and has clear rules and boundaries; but devoid of the “no sex with anyone else, ever!” traditional rule of “closed” relationships. It is standard for both parties to be honest with each other and have the same freedom.

POLYAMORY

It may seem like a modern construct, but it’s really a resurgence of a concept that stretches back to ancient times. Polyamory is all about consensually dating (and being in love with) several people at the same time.

SITUATIONSHIP

The new word coined by Black Twitter to replace “complicated,” when describing a sexual relationship that isn’t a friendship, serious relationship, or nothing.

SUMMER FLING

Summer fling is to warmer months what cuffing is to colder months.

SWINGER

Poly[amory] may be the in-thing amongst millenials, but swinging (also called [partner, wife, or husband] swapping) is very much alive amongst the Gen Xers.

TEXTLATIONSHIP

A relationship confined to the abstract world of texting. There is typically no face-to-face, voice, or in-person communication.

Sexualities, Romantic Orientations, and Gender Identities

AROMANTIC

A person who doesn’t experience romantic attraction.

ASEXUAL

A person who doesn’t experience sexual attraction.

BISEXUAL

A person who is sexually attracted to two genders.

DEMISEXUAL

A person who is attracted to an individual’s personality only after they’ve gotten to know the individual.

GAY

A person who is attracted to, dates, or has sex with individuals of the same gender.

A straight person is the opposite of a gay person.

GENDERFLUID

A person who doesn’t feel tethered to any specific gender.

INCEL

A person, typically a man, who wishes to have sex but can’t. It is a morph of the phrase “involuntarily celibate.”

A person who can get laid but chooses not to is a volcel—from “voluntarily celibate.”

LGBTQ

Also LGBT/LGBTQ+. It is an acronym for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer (or Questioning). It is actually an all-encompassing tag covering the numerous communities of individuals who are not cisgender, heteroromantic, and heterosexual.

NON-BINARY

Usually for gender identity, but also for sexual and romantic orientation. A person who doesn’t fit in the traditional binary categories of male and female gender identities, heterosexual and homosexual orientations, or heteroromantic and homoromantic orientations.

For example, a non-binary person may identify as neither male nor female, both male and female, or a traditional gender specific to their culture (such as third gender or two-spirited).

PANSEXUAL

A person whose sexual choice is not pigeonholed to the sexuality or gender identity of an individual—they are attracted to those of the same, opposite, and nonbinary gender.

QUEER

Like LGBT, queer is an umbrella term. However, it is typically used to describe sexuality- and gender-diverse individuals, especially those with a slightly more radical edge.

SAPIOSEXUAL

A person who is turned on by an individual’s mind/intelligence rather than physical appearance.

TRANSGENDER

A person whose gender identity doesn’t correspond with their birth sex.

A cisgender is a person whose gender identity and birth sex corresponds.

Acronyms

AF

AF stands for as f*ck. It is typically used for emphasis. Say a snack is hot af.

DM SLIDE

DM stands for direct message[-ing]. A DM slide involves taking one’s flirtatious advances to the private messaging section (all major social media networks have one).

DTF

DTF stands for down to f*ck. It is self-explanatory.

DTR

Also DRT convo/conversation. DTR stands for define the relationship. A DTR conversation is essentially getting to the crossroads of a relationship to understand where you’re at and what next. Word of advice: Timing is crucial!

FBO

FBO stands for Facebook official. It refers to making a relationship public (or at least letting your friends know).

IRL

IRL stands for in real life. To mean meeting offline, in person, face-to-face…

NRE

NRE stands for new relationship energy. It is that feeling of bliss that characterizes the early stages of a relationship.

YODO

YODO stands for you only dump once. A phrase of note to not go back once you’ve ended things. It typically applies to kray baes.